Look! We’re BEAUTIFUL UNICORNZ!*!*!*!*!! [11 comments]

Jill

iPhone app – Younicorns! ($0.99)

SOOOOOOoOoOooOoOoOo PWETTYY!!!~*!!*~!*!*~*

BEAUTIFALLZ!!!!~*!@!*@~*!*~!*@*~!

Splinter Cell: Conviction vs. LOST [5 comments]

Jill

So about a week ago I started watching LOST Season 1. (Word of advice: Don’t ever start watching LOST on an airplane!) I only started watching it out of pure boredom, which then turned into easy entertainment and now has become my obsession! I am DETERMINED to catch up before the final season finale so that I don’t get Snape Kills Dumbledore‘d after it airs on TV. I only have a matter of weeks to catch up! It’s shameful to say that when I get off work at 5 o’clock, I rush home, skip the chores, grab my puppy, grab some food and a beverage, and have a LOST-fest til I can’t stand to keep my eyes open anymore.

Since doing so, I’ve had frequent nightmares, I once woke up screaming (I heard myself mid-scream.. WEEIRD!!) and I’m terrified of the dark, imagining Walt covered in water in my bedroom. All of that aside, I’M LOVING IT! I think my friends are a little annoyed by my constant play by play text commentary (*ZOMG JACK & KATE JUST KISSED!*, *ZOMG I HATE SAWYER!* *ZOMG MICHAEL NEEDS TO CALM DOWN!*), but this show is totally worth the 2 weeks of laundry I’ve put behind me.

With that said, Splinter Cell: Conviction came out yesterday. I hope you all enjoy playing it, seeing as how I wont be able to manage the time for it just yet. (Damn me for not having a clone!) I saw the game at PAX which initially sparked my interest. The graphics look amazing! It has some kind of nice & clean-feel to it and I really look forward to playing multiplayer, however I cannot risk the finale of LOST being spoiled by any distraction.

I’m hoping that I’m not crazy (as I previously thought all LOST people were) and that I’ll be catchin up soon! (1 & 2 – LONGEST SEASONS EVER.) I’d like to hear some input on SCC since I haven’t read much about it yet. If it’s *“The most epic game evar!-omg-omg-omg!!..”,* I’d definitely be willing to sacrifice a few hours from my busy LOST-fest schedule to see what it’s all about. If not, you can bet your bottom I’ll be at home ranting about Sawyer being a jerk, Kate bein a slut and OMG Jack! Knock it off with the temper tantrums! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FAVORITE!!

Double Down: Not Delicious [4 comments]

Tara

My stomach is gurgling from the Double Down as I write this. Goodness gracious, is that “sandwich” an experience. Take a look at my adventure below:

I was so young, so naive. What was I thinking?

The sandwich in all its glory.

My recap: I survived. Barely.

Have you tried it? What did you think?

Dolls Are Terrifying [10 comments]

Tara

Seriously. How come dolls are so frightening?
I admit, I had some Barbies when I was growing up. But I made up for it by stealing my lil bro’s Ninja Turtle action figures and playing with them.

But most dolls are insane. And don’t get me started on dollhouses. Ever since I saw this movie as a little kid, I couldn’t look at a dollhouse the same way.

But I would willingly sit alone in a room with a haunted dollhouse before I’d be left alone with this:

What’s up with the casting director finding the creepiest girls ever and making them maniacally laugh while spinning around?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE DOLLS!!!!!! please help me….

And then there’s this:

Sorry. I don’t let secret-whispering dolls share a bed with me. No way, no how.

And finally, this.

I didn’t think you could show baby plastic penis on tv. And who would really want to buy that for their children? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

This is all proof that video games are truly the better toy for kids. And won’t give them as many nightmares. Or make them go into therapy later on in life. Sheeshers.

Porn Stars Playing D&D [2 comments]

Tara

Apparently Escapist Magazine has started a new webisode featuring porn stars (fully clothed) playing dungeons and dragons. And surprise, the girls almost all play elvin rogues. That used to be my go-to. Time to try something new, I guess.

Io9 interviewed one of the “actresses” on the web series, and I found some of the stuff said to be hilarious. For instance:

They’re not all porn stars: “We’re a medley of porn stars, strippers, models, a hair dresser and I am an ex-porn star/fetish model and currently an illustrator.”
As far as I’m concerned, most of those professions are pretty darn close to porn.

About this group of porn stars: “We are the next generation of sexy women in the media where most of our sexy comes from our brains.”
Unless it’s a zombie porn, I don’t think your brain is a necessary requirement for “sexy” in porn.

On what edition they’re playing: “A mix of AD&D and 3rd Edition. We don’t list our skills or use feats. Instead Zak likes us to play as if anything we could imagine up and do in real life, we could do in the game… The same with alignments – we don’t use them. He doesn’t want the skill list or alignment to limit what we think we are able to do or how to act.”
So you took out the math, critical thinking, and limitations. Understandable.

If you’re interested in checking out an episode, just press play.

My favorite comment from the io9 page is from schrodingers-katana. He says: “I’ve actually had a fair amount of luck in getting attractive girls who have no business gaming at the table for D&D and other games on a pretty frequent basis. Once you break them of the game’s stigma and reveal to them that a lot of their friends are playing with them it’s pretty easy to make a hot girl ONE OF US! ONE OF US!”

It’s true! D&D is a lot of fun if you play with friends that share your personality and humor. You can get your girly friends to join you if you help them get past the stigma they may experience.

Moral of the post: I probably wouldn’t play D&D with porn stars. Honestly, I think they would be pretty boring. Give me non-porn stars with a good sense of humor any day!

If you could play D&D with any person/profession, who would you want to play with?

Sources: Io9 and Escapist Magazine

So Your Girlfriend’s Not A Robot [2 comments]

Tara

Tara here. In case you haven’t heard, we’re pretty much living in the future. (Seriously, where is my flying car!?) And the future includes awesome things like no longer needing actual human companionship. But Japanese sex dolls are expensive and creepy. What do you do? Slowly turn your girlfriend (or girl that sometimes hangs out with you) into a robot.

Face it, you always wanted her to be more like Fergie:

Lucky for you, fashion companies are on your side. Take a look at Gucci’s newest campaign.

Comfortable? Hell no. Will it make your girlfriend silently do your bidding or assist you in your war domination plans? Perhaps. Just keep her away from metal detectors, magnets, and the rain.

What’s that? You don’t have the money for Gucci and your girlfriend won’t let you glue pipes and cable onto her dresses? Let’s start smaller then.

Buy her one of these OPI Nail Polishes to match her Dell Laptop.

Yeah. If your girlfriend wants to spend an extra $85 for her to have an ugly swirly design on her laptop, perhaps she’s not the one for you. But if she did, you can be the sweet guy and buy her the matching nail polish. One step closer to her being an actual computer!

If you’re lucky, your girlfriend will someday be fully robotic.

*Shudder*