I’m sorry, and you’re welcome.
This video is hilarious, and I think it should be left at that. Because I just don’t even want to know when and where the porn comes in, and with who.
And seriously, is it THAT tough to find a female porn actress that can actually act? (Luke, on the other hand, is pretty fantastic.)
Disclaimer: This post contains some content that may be NSFW. You’ve been warned.
GameCrush, the site that makes you pay to play games with people online, is officially launching a new service: Crush-O-Matic. Do you like the random awkwardness (and inappropriateness) of Chat Roulette, but want to combine it with a crappy flash game? Well aren’t you in luck! That’s exactly what Crush-O-Matic does. However, it looks like before you’re randomly matched up with someone, you need to create a profile, which means anyone who wants to play on GameCrush can. Which means these people you’re playing on Crush-O-Matic are JUST LIKE YOU. And the playdates? Not a big process to become one. Which means anyone who applies for it can pretty much become one. So why the heck would anyone would want to pay for these services?
Obviously, I’m not a big fan of GameCrush. And I have a little secret for you all. I signed up for it. I was/am a “playdate”. Why? Because I wanted to see it from the inside.
Truthfully, this site is what you make it. Now with the “Crush-O-Matic” option, you can technically play free games against random people. But the girls who just want to make money can opt out of the game, or use the “Crush-O-Matic” game as a way to recruit guys to pay for their services. If you are interested in paid games, there are 4 different “zones” you can go into:
The Arcade, the happy, fun, not-so-inappropriate zone.
The Arena, the zone where the players are probably gonna kick your ass in gameplay.
The Academy, where the crushes can help you learn games a bit better.
The Edge, basically a porn site, but you might still play a game.
For my own safety/sanity, I stuck to Arcade. But that didn’t change the fact that my messages and chat room conversations never really seemed to be about gaming, and seemed to lean more towards Myspace-style “How you doin” situations. In fact, as I’m writing this, I have a guy in my chat room trying to pinpoint exactly where I live, so we can “hang out” sometime. No. Thanks. Another guy is trying to convince me that he’s a famous soccer player from Madrid. I don’t think that’s happened since I was 10 and some guy on AIM tried to convince me that he was Haley Joel Osment. (Dude, I loved Sixth Sense. Don’t judge.)
Let’s take a look at the folks who are in “The Edge”, shall we?
Click to make the image larger, if you really want to.
Most of the folks on this site have a “Myspace meets Suicide Girl Rejects” feel to them. If you click on their pics, it’ll lead you to more (mostly horrifyingly skanky) pictures. And the best part? That’s not all of them. Playdates are allowed to have some “private” photos that are only available to people who are paying to play a game with them. And the people who are paying to play games? They’re encouraged to leave tips if their playdates are doing things they like. Sound like a strip club yet?
Let’s see what some of the girls put in their bios:
AustarinGirlxxx says:
“Ok guys! HERE ARE SOME RULES >>> FOR THIS CRush O Matic
First ill play just 5 to 6mins to show you how this works.
Second if you want to continue playing more than that ill like some Tips to continue.
Third we can make the game interesting ….lets see what happen if you win ;) ”
My other favorite girl on the site changed the names to all of the flash games on the site: She would only play things like “Tits Tac Toe” and “Battlestrip”. And BOY did she get pissed when she found out other people “stole” her “original” idea of Strip Poker. Yikes.
I guess what I’m trying to say through my frustrated ramblings is this: If you really want to play with girls that are more interested in doing naughty things for a webcam than playing you in a game, join GameCrush. If you want to just play a game with a girl, do it! There are girls near you that like to play games. Ask them. If you’re on Xbox Live and you see a girl on, don’t make sexist comments or ogle her, just play. She’s a normal person, just like you. She won’t bite (unless you’re on GameCrush and you ask her to).
Maybe the Zaxy ladies should have a gaming night. That way all of you guys can come out and game with us, for FREE, and see what it’s really like to game with a girl. And here’s a hint: you’re gonna be able to kick my ass in almost every game. Just cause I like to game doesn’t mean I’m good at it. :-)
Have you tried GameCrush? Do you have a good experience? Let me know! Have any questions or things you want me to try out on the site?
I’m totally open to having my mind changed about GameCrush. It just hasn’t happened yet.
Oh, and the “famous soccer player” that was talking to me in the GameCrush chat room? He asked me about his “13 inch burrito”, and when I wouldn’t stop LOLing, he left. Good game.
Here’s a collection of some amazing, and less than amazing, but-still-awesome-because-it’s-Star Wars-and-anything-Star-Wars-is-awesome, costumes.
[Hit the JUMP to view them all!!]
iPhone app – Younicorns! ($0.99)
SOOOOOOoOoOooOoOoOo PWETTYY!!!~*!!*~!*!*~*
BEAUTIFALLZ!!!!~*!@!*@~*!*~!*@*~!
Geek tattoos. We’ve all seen them. We’ve all looked at them or thought about them in some way.
So our question is, if you HAD to get something,
what would you get and why?
Show us a picture or tell us about it! We want to know!
Here are some pictures of Tara and I at Emerald City Comic Con as well as pictures of us hanging with the cast of The Guild. March 13th & 14th was an epic weekend! (Hit teh jump for moar & click the image for a larger picture!)
(LOOooOOoOoOoVE!)
Final Fantasy XIII will be on sale tomorrow for PS3 & Xbox 360!
This is the first time Final Fantasy has ever been released for Xbox 360. Therefore who is RLY really excited? Me.
And this girl.
Everyone knows it’s great fun to tell people who they look like & to set your facebook picture to your favorite celebrity dopplegangers! However, it’s not fun when you’re told by your best friend that you resemble Peter Griffin, Courtney Love and certain types of dog breeds. Here are some amazing celebrity dopplegangers that are less than flattering and just down right hilarious to look at!
Hey guys! Meet Tara! (P.s. Jill’s new gamer tag is ZAXY DOT COM so send her game invites if you see her online!)
Take a wild guess.
BE JEALOUS.
(Thanks to CHAD who is the man of all men)
