A Confession [10 comments]

Tara

Zaxy Fans,

I hate to do this to you, but if I don’t come clean today, someone else will reveal our secret.

We’re not who we say we are. Don’t get me wrong, all of these posts have been true and from our hearts. We love gaming and geekery… but we’re not girls.

The girls you see in the photo to your right have been hired by us. They’ve made a couple appearances as “Zaxy” and did a little photo shoot. But in all honestly, they’re not us.

In fact, those girls don’t know their Star Trek from their Star Wars. Tara just babbles on about magazines and Twilight, and Jill does nothing but quote Beyonce lyrics. I once asked her nicely to be quiet, and she just started shouting something about being a Diva. Yikes.

Allow me to introduce the real “Jill” and “Tara”. Our names are Jason and Tyler.

I’m Tyler. This photo was taken at one of my fave comic stores: They had a bunch of this book, and since I know I’m a “geek”, I thought this would make the perfect facebook photo.

This is Jason, he writes as “Jill”. This photo was taken about 4 years ago, but it’s still his favorite. He uses it for EVERYTHING.

You probably have some questions. I’ll see if I can answer most of them in this post for you.

Q: Seriously?
A: Seriously. You never thought of it? Come on. You think a girl ACTUALLY thinks Star Trek cologne is cool?

Q: I knew you were too 1337 to be girls.
A: So did we. That’s why we’re guys.

Q: Can we just have the girls back?
A: Yes. We’ll keep the girls’ photos up and continue to write from their voices because it’s fun.

Q: But I met the girls at (insert convention here)!
A: It’s true. You met the actors. Tell me, did they babble on about magazines and Beyonce? They’re paid actresses so they shouldn’t have, but damn are those girls high maintenance. Jill asked to be paid entirely in adorable puppies and Tara wanted nothing more than a “bathtub full of pink glitter”.

Q: You still seem kinda cool. Could we meet you guys?
A: Unfortunately, Jason hasn’t left his house for 3 years for fear of the sun. We communicate entirely through ChatRoulette. I just have to keep “nexting” until I find him. It’s tedious. But I’m up for a beer!

Q: Good sir, what day is it?
A: Why it’s the 1st of April, why do you ask?